I feel so tired.

Really.

Shouldn't have watched dvd last night.

JJ and I gotta wake at 8.

He's gonna rush home to print song sheets.(he's snoozing now)

I gonna practice,then gotta reach Cuen's house by 11.

I wanna wear jacket out today.BUT,left it at cousin's house.I don't know what to wear.

I wanna eat twirl pop later.I just dreamt that I was eating it!And it had taste.Not logical,how can I taste in my dream?(Maybe it was jj's face i was licking and biting).Butbutbut,I scared,later my pop kena koped by some people.(Da jie cheryl...)

I shall go pack bag now and organize my song sheet file for later.

*looks at the time

Okay guys,time to go,bye.

*shouts: JJ!!!!!!!!!!!WAKE UP!!!!!

I lacked appetite today.

But mum saved the day by buying takko pacchi for me.

Bacon cheese

YUM.

Then,went to play bball.With jj,russel,james.Fun.There was nobody,I only joined them at late 10.James hadn't came yet.So we played,russel said I looked like those typical at cc bball court ppl.Then we played,and james came.Then jj and russel took of shirt.One is like,canoeist figure.Russel,got the indestructible kind of figure.(but he's small and skinny too.)Then I also took of my shirt,I glowed in the dark.Cause too fair already.I t feels good to air your armpit in the night air.It was cold.

Then,after the game,we layed at the centre of the court,and got a magnificent view of the night sky(magnificent by s'pore standards)Then we just laid there,talk and look at the sky.I only can identify the stars of orient.Russel pointed out the norh star.I think russel is darn funny.He can just fall and never die.He's like this super blur and innocent guy who hangs arnd gangsters.(st pats)He keeps doing those crazy stunts.JJ looked,weird,when he pulled his pants all the way up to his chest.And JJ sang as usual,and russel was singing nursery songs.Some ppl from the nearby flat shhhed at us.I rmb last time we played at anglican there.This man stuck his head of the window."PAI KIA!GUI DIAM LIAO?!"Lol.Fun lah.We then went to the coffeeshop to drink.I think its a traditon now,a drink after the game.Jj and I would ALWAYS drink bandung.We had two cans each.When we all left after talking and finishing our drinks,it was alrdy 12am.Then reacehd home.And now jj is singing at the backgrnd.

Shall go off now,we gonna watch coach carter,then go sleep and wake early morn tmr.Tmr delirious? coming!cool band.Seeya

now playing : Du De Wei feat. JJ Tang - Yuan Lai Wo Love You So Much

hey.

Today was beautiful.

Does this gives the heart rises kind of feeling?

Thoughts
by Jayer_tee

 

Passed the day with nothin in sight
Thinking of the things I didn't do
Feel like an imbecile

Thoughts raced
Silence regretted
What is it that has got me captivated?

Hunger roars
My mind ignores
There's just no appetite.

I weigh the facts
count the time
So many responsibilities,I just gotta hold on

Hands tired
Grip loosened
But I'm gonna just hold on

I figured,
Maybe,somethingelse needs letting go
I guess I'll just take the pain and walk on

I think I'm very irritating.My mum was doing facial.And I i went there to watch tv,I think she really wanted to watch but her eyes were covered.Then she called me a barbarian cause I was slurping on my noodles.

I'm gonna start a public blog.Shall use blogspot.So for the time being,if i got interesting stuffs to share,I'll share it here.

I jsut had two large plates of whoppingly,stupendously delicious spaghetti.*SLURP.

I'm here to share about my dreams yesterday.Cool huh,i had two vivid dreams on my birthday.First was during my nap.It was a nightmare.I was at this dim litted place with this girl.Then she told me she was recycling me.And i felt darn depressed.Was like so sad that she was recycling me.But thinking abt it now,what does it mean to be recycled?Anyway,it was a nightmare,felt depressed about it.

Then,at night,I slept at 3.45 am.And had a dream.In the dream,I was a caucasion woman.Armed with a kitchen knife.And I/she had extreme hatred in my heart.I really wanted to kill this man(funny thing is,I didn't even see his face in the whole dream,I only saw his back,which I stabbed about twenty to forty times,can't rmb.)As I was saying,I really wanted to kill him.I was chasing this bus,and the scence skipped.I was on the bus,staring at the man(his back),and ran for him,and jsut started stabbing and stabbing and stabbing.Then after that,I don't know why,I started stabbing everyone on the bus.UNtill everyone was dead.The bus was not moving,(must be because the driver was one of the people I stabbed(EVERYONE).So,after I was drenched in blood and all.I staggered out of the bus.And there was this tunnel.I went into the tunnel,and was startled by my own shadow,and lunged,then next,i can't remember what happend.I either stabbed my shadow or my self.I'm pretty sure I stabbed myself actually.

So tahts my dream.Al weird dreams.But all very vivid.I don't know why,but the second one was not a nightmare.The only emotion I felt was hatred(when i was looking for that man).Sadistic eh?The thought of death has for no reason been clinging to my thoughts.I'm not becoming suicidal,I'd never hurt myself.But anyway,I've been thinking abt death.(not me dying,jsut death)Sadistic.Maybe I'm just too tired this week.

I'm gonna go sleep now.I'm gonna watch an nc-16 movie legally tmr.Haha,yes,being 16 is sweet.Oh yes,you gotta watch kill bill.Its super sadistic with a slight hint of humour.I watched it,and the amount of blood shed in the first forty mins of the movie alrdy surpassed the amnt of blood I'd ever seen in all the past movies i watched.I'm gonna watch coach carter too.Coach carter is like a must watch.

I wanna talk about some stuffs too.But its late.Shall sleep early.I really don't wanna be late for sch tmr.Seeya.*STAB.

okok,joking,shant be sadistic.I'm gonna go di......I mean sleep now.Good night everyone.

Happy chineeese new year everyone.This is a special update,just for the special season.=)

*wipes away the dusts
*clears the cobwebs
*breathes life into it once again

CNY started off sluggishly.I simply dragged myself through the motions of a typical cny eve.Went for a mini reunion dinner,I dressed too formally for it.But its okay to look smart.(plus,I looked smarter than everyone there)My paternal cousins came over to visit too.I went down with the younger ones to the playground and basketball court.Its been so fun,and I'm so glad and thankful for the basketball present from the cg.(old one was stolen with my skates)After that,my cousins kidnapped me.They insisted I went over.

"Kor kor john!Come stay lah!Please!Or else if you tmr come then must stay two nights!Kor kor john...."

And when I got kidnapped,and went over,they turned in for bedtime.So,there i was,just using the com.I got so bored listening to my cousins snore,and I felt so cold under the aircon.I felt like death was tingling my toes,and death eventually reminded me about homework.So I started thinking about homework,and asked my online classmates about it.I think its pathetic to have to think about homework on a cny night.But anyway,chatted with zach and junhui.Zachary,is lame as usual.Junhui,is special and scary.(She's never been late for school before.)I this year not bad,late once so far.(shut up,don't say its only january,i'm trying to be optimistic.xD)

I went to bed at 4am in the end.As expected,woke up late the next day.But not too late.For me,I wasn't expecting a whole day of activities.Went to this weird house in yishun with my cousins' family.There,it was full of people whom I never met before,(they're my cousins actually,don't know them anyway).It was one of the most boring places on earth.In the past,I'd prob whip out my phone,and msg ppl.But I think msging is tiring now.I'd rather go to a corner and read instead.I'm the mini bookworm.I marvel at the fact that there are so many unknown relatives.(My ah gong had four wives you see)Don't like some of them.Kind of snobby.They were darn noisy.Recorded them laughing.Sounded like a market.I played it full volume,when they were still there,and they turned to look at me.I just pretended I was just checking my phone out.I made amazing discoveries on my phone btw.I disccovered my cam can zoom.And I can record videos.Cool huh.I never knew.There was this irritating monkey.First thing he saw me,he asked me,"can i see your phone?"Then he took it and ran off.Only to return moments later.Monkey.I was simply known as "tua ti's son"But my dad was absent.As he always is.I got irritated when they asked me where my father was.Cause I don't know where is he.Found out he went vietnam from my aunt.

After waht seemed like eternity,we left that dreadful place.My cousins and I made grandma proud.We acted like normal human beings at least.I wanted to buy sunflowers!They were huge.And beautiful,but I figured I'd better not since I wasn't going home.My kidnappers did drop me home for awhile to get more clothes.And it was my sis's bdae!I wished her happy birthday.My bestest sister.Upon reaching back at my cousin's house,we started a movie marathon.Chicken little and star wars ep 3.(may wathc scary movie 3 later)

Padme used a famous quote in the movie isit?
"This is how liberty dies.To thunderous applause."

So,now,its another late night.I think cny has been perfect.Cause of the company of my cousins.They're really great ppl.Since I'm the only guy among the ones near my age,I inevitably got caught in girl's talk.I told sara and eunice abt some girl i had a crush on.I don't really care,cause its just a crush to me,part of growing up.No one in school can ever guess who.So just shared with my cousins,to jsut be sporting.Hahaha,I'm okay with telling them who,probably cause we're cousins.

Got this weird flu now.I feel like cooking noodles again.But I just have this phobia of blowing up other people's kitchen.Oh yes,you all gotta listen to corrine may's songs.I think every of her song is superb.Sigaporean song writer.She doesn't jsut write songs,she carries this special annointing on her songs.

I shall go off now,my cousins getting bored.Happy cny people!Why not we cash in all our money and open a bank?Haha,feeling stupid now.

 

PS:don't check back for further updates,won't be any.Unless got VERY special occasion.I would notify by my msn nicks if so.=)Do tag,since this is a rare post.

Check out my cousin's entry too,its a combined entry.
I made a huge contribution to it.Serious.

I'm ending this blog here on new year day.So,I won't be blogging here anymore kay?

Happy new year by the way.Service ended yesterday,and as it was new year's eve,many people had plans.But not my cellgrp members.Everyone went their individual ways after service...It was quite a depressing feeling,having nothing to do on new year eve.It wasn't that we didn't want to hang out together,but most of us,or should I say,all of us were either not keen in going to crazy crowded areas for countdown,or not allowed to stay out so late.So as the rest went for quick dinner,I went with JiXian to buy stuffs at attributes.You know,I had two 5 dollars coupon.And realized they expired on 31dec2005.So I had to sue them or waste them.I wanted to buy many books but I figured I couldn't cause of arise and build.So I told myself,I'll buy them after arise and build.And guess what,random members started to give me their coupons cause they didn't know what to buy.At the end of service,I had ten 5 dollar coupons!So i went on a shopping spree at attributes bookstore.Ji xian wanted to buy a leadership book too so i went choosing with him.I bought two books,Max lucado books,Travelling Light and Come Thirsty.I skimmed through Travelling light,and first chapter was really really great already.Max Lucado brings the content across greatly.His writing is really good.And coupled with his insights,his books are masterpieces.Jixian bought leadership excellence by phil pringle.I gave him one of my coupons and blessed him with five dollars.Not much,but gave what i could.I saw bro melvin in the queue.Been a long time since I saw him.He-looks-so-so-young now.I don't mean he looked old,but I mean he looks like a youth,he is one,i mean a YOUNG youth.Maybe its his cool specs.Anyway,remember I was asking for books?Now I have too many at hand.Shall complete one by one,especially the ones from Cuen by joyce meyers,it'd be cool to read her books before she comes.So I had dinner with Jixian at the food court.The depressive feeling nevertheless weighed upon us.E385 ppl went to arcade...So after dinner with Jixian,I decided to go look for them.Didn't like the fact that I had nothing to do on new year's eve.So I found them at the arcade at tampines.It was fun,in fact.The sisters were also there,including michelle!She was there after work.THe brothers were playing initial D (d-u-h) and the sisters were just wild,playing all the music-beat kind of games.It was amusing to see michelle and cassandra scream whenever they advanced a stage...(They were playing EASY.It was very very s-l-o-w)Anyway,after awhile,the sisters(mich,marilyn,cass) went to pasar malam.So i went with them since the brothers were so transfixed with driving.Seems to me this always happen,somehow,I end up as the only guy.

At the pasar malam,I really really enjoyed myself.Cass bought food for her dad,then went off thereafter.Mich and marilyn continued shopping.Marilyn was looking for bags,school bag.So we were choosing and choosing.I really liked being around the two sisters,michele would always take care of her younger sis so well,and marilyn would always find it difficult to make decisons.Me and Mich refused to answer her when she asked for help in choosing,really wanted her to choose herself.Thank God we didn't spent any longer at the bags store,cause I realized I was trying on handbags unconciously as we scouted for nice bags for marilyn.Haha.

Then,they buyed(the word "buyed" does not exist btw,its "bought") lots of food,To have their own lil' party at home together with their mum.I've always admired mich for her strength and optimism.She may not come from a complete family,but she's always so cheerful,and just bringing that joy into her mother's and sister's lives.She's like the spark that keeps the fire of the family burning.I carried all their shopping bags and food,my lil' way of showing my appreciation of letting me join their shopping spree.(and besides,brothers should always offer to help carry the stuffs for sisters...Though I've been in church for only two years,I've been hammered enough by the sisters to learn how to be a gentlemen.....Haha)I'm the sort of person that would always be drawn to any grp of people that gives me the family feeling.Its something I always desired.

Then after saying good bye to them,it felt that my the heaviness was totally gone.God knows my heart best,who would've thought that simply tagging along two sisters for a shopping spree would be so joyful to me?After saying goodbye to them,John tay yong cheng disappeared from the world.

Next afternoon,he reappeared at Tampines mall,still in the same clothes from the previous night,looking more ruggard though.What happened the previous night?I dunno,go figure...Haha.Anyway,there I was,eating potato chips for breakfast on an new year afternoon.Then as I was leaning on a railing,eating my chips outside pasta fresca,bro jimmy tapped on my shoulders.Surprising that he could recognize me from the bag.He told me sis yahlan was inside too.He broguht me to say hi.Bro stephen and sis rebecca was there too.I always feel taxed when I see a bunch of life chaniging people sitting at the same table.Cause i always feel obliged to address them,brother this or sister that.Then if I were to address one by one,it would take long,and may end up as a mini tongue twister.Anyway,just a small talk with sis yahlan and they all took a moment of awe at my height considering my age.Sis yahlan said I looked like I just woke up...And asked me to stop on the chips,signalling to the pimples.Haha,I was just standing there and smiling,I smiled till I became teary eyed.Was tired I guess.But thats what I always do,just SMILE and answer question.I must break that habit huh?Then I had lunch at pastamania too.

After that,went to coldstorage to buy groceries.THere was this weird person,kept staring at me.I was feeling abit mischevious,so i would either purposely go stand beside that person,pretending that I was looking at a nearby product,or jsut simply making eye contact unexpectedly.Crazy scary person,but too bad I was feeling mischevious,maybe I freaked the person out.It seemed along my trip in the supermarket I would cross path with that person every now and then.Oh yea,talking about people,it seems that strangers have been coming up to me...

On friday,before cg,I was at this smallllllllllllll lil' unnoticeable snack shop,simply having a drink and some pastries.I just read my book and skimmed through the songs to play for cg,thinking which part I might encounter unexpected errors.And the skinny guy attending to the shop came to me,asking me whether I played the guitar,signalling at my guitar leaning onto the chair.And he asked me what I played,I just told him I play only christian songs,and then telling him I was christian.He then told me he was roman catholic,and i just smiled back at him with the love of Jesus.haha,he's a nice person,a lil' weird though.He asked me,when i ordered my pastry,"would you like sugar?".I said yes.He asked again.I said YES.He asked again,and I said YES in the most articulate and clear pronounciation I've ever said that word in.And he served me,without sugar.Haha.-_-.I wasn't soft or anythin,I wonder what he heard....Then,there was another stranger,as I was waiting for a bus,and he came with a namecard,asking me,whether he should trust the person on the namecard,whom was offering him a job.I felt he should take the offer,no special reason,just felt so.Then the stranger just stood up,swore at the person on the namecard and walked off.Weird huh.

ANYWAY,HAPPY NEW YEAR.I'm just ending this post now,late liao ah.Haha.Okay,This is it!No more entries.Thank you all for reading all this while!If you're still interested in my life,and not merely reading this to kill time,then you should come talk to me personally I guess,since I won't expose my thoughts anymore on this blog.Haha.Okok,shall end it formally wile a HUGE the end.Haha

THE END.=)

I feel weird.I downed panadol with mushroom soup.Anyway,I realised,my house has alot of panadol.I didn't know which one to take.EXTRA or Cold relief or the pink one.I just picked any one,just making sure I didn't take the pink one.I wonder what would happen if i took the pink panadol......Hmmmmmmmm

I'll need to drag myself to school tmr again.Going to TM to have lunch with nuriman after it.He has psl meeting later in the afternoon and needs to kill time.I figured I should take lunch too before going shopping.Need to buy some important stuffs.....Nuriman is one of the nicer guys in class.BUt he seems to always get picked on.But from my opinion,he scores high for his character.He has a better character than most guys in the class....

I'll be going to read my book again...........Why nobody reccomend book one......I guess there aren't any bookworms reading this.Speaking about bookworms,where have they gone?!Its seems ever since primary school all the bookworms were secretely disappearing.And it seems there aren't any bookworms anymore.Now,the current teenage scene is like full of BGR or friends friends friends type of people.No more bookworms.But there are still nerds.....And they read textbooks,so I'd figured I shouldn't ask them for reccomendations...My cousin,sara,reads alot,but then mostly seems like those girl novels...PLease please,reccomend books at the tagboard.

Ohh,I feel so drowsy.I shall go read till I sleep now.I lsot my avril lavgine album=(...But thanks to yuan li fer sending me the song.Yuan li is my partner in crime.I wonder whether I'd still be classmanager next year.BEen two years already.I've never seen myself as a leader type of person.But everyone can be made into one isn't it.It seems that I always get forced into little leadership positions here and there,maybe God is moulding me?I stillneed alot of moulding...I shall go rest now.Seeya

 

My head is throbbing.It feels like a boulder set on my shoulders.Got up early for the reexam in school.My classmate actually called me on my way there,checking whether I'm awake or not.Nice to know people remember me.But not nice for being known to oversleep...

Anyway,reached school,feeling very cold.Just this flu bug I guess.Shouldn't have bathed at one am.No wisdom.Yuan li and huiwen kept commenting there's something different,but they didn't say what.After the test,was at the bus stop.Thiking about where to go.Wanted to go somewhere.The male classmates,could never really blend with their activities,they go langaming too much.Everyone has their own cliques,but I don't.So was really wanting to call people to go hang out with.But there wasn't any in my mind.Sometimes,random people would suddenly come to me and complain that their best friends too busy to go out with them.But at least they have someone to get angry at.So there I waited,deciding if number ten came first,I'd go TM,and if 229 came first,I'd go home.I died when I reached home.Collapsed on the bed.Continued reading some novel,till i fell asleep.Didn't help my headache by reading whle lying down and my head screaming for shutdown.When iwoke up,my headache didn't heal,but I continued with my novel nevertheless.So I had late lunch,and now,I'm killing away time blogging.Gotta study physics later,thank God I made notes.I'm gonna get some decent TYS soon.My current one is like thin,and I hate it,all the words crammed together,kills the mood to try them out.

I'll go off now,still hoping to go TM.To go browse books....I"m not sure whether I'd be going.I'll definately go TM after school tmr.Look for stuffs.

OH YES.Five more days to end of this blog.As I said,don't go searcing the internet for my other blog.I'm serious okay,really want it to be private.I won't put a password cause I don't know how.I'll be emailing the blog add to the leaders who reads this.So I think thats only cuen and sis sharon.I think bro joshua doesn't read?I really donno.I got him a christmas card and christmas is over.Forgot to look for him............I guess should chuck it away.Shall give him a new year one.And,e328's christmas card to Cuen is overdue.I wanted to pass it to her,but figured there was enough space for the whole cg,so,passed it out.And I think it'll only be ready by new year.Late christmas card.Deservedly,considering the last minute passing out.I'm not sure whether I'd be bloggin here the remainding 6 days.We'll see..........